


Secret Identity

by thatsprettyfuckinggaydude



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Parker, Transphobia, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7487904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsprettyfuckinggaydude/pseuds/thatsprettyfuckinggaydude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter Parker. Or, to everyone else Paula Parker. You see, Peter had come to terms with the fact that he was not Paula a significant time ago. So, he refers to himself as such. </p><p>Well, that is, on the inside. On the outside, he has to keep up the act of Paula. It's much, much worse than it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They Find Out

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry, this is kind of shit. I haven't written anything for a while, so i'm using this as a kind of self therapy, and to get back into writing. Also, it kind of seems like i was rushing? Idk. 
> 
> There is some bad language and yelling. There will eventually be some transphobia, but idk how much as I have not written it yet. I also don't know how often I will be updating this.

Peter Parker. Or, to everyone else Paula Parker. You see, Peter had come to terms with the fact that he was not Paula a significant time ago. So, he refers to himself as such. 

Well, that is, on the inside. On the outside, he has to keep up the act of Paula. It's much, much worse than it sounds. 

But you know who isn't Paula? Spider-man. When he is spider-man, he doesn't have to pretend to be Paula. He can't let anyone know his secret identity anyway. 

When he goes out to stop crime, he is as free as the wind. He is happy. He has friends, and, he even has a family. Unlike Aunt May - who is wonderful, don't get him wrong, and is his actual family and is great to come home to after a long day - this family doesn't know his face. This family has just as much as that homey feeling as Aunt May, but he can be himself. As long as he has that mask on, he can be who he truly is. 

This family, and no he’s not joking, is the Fantastic Four. Imagine that. An Aunt May as his family for the Paula/Peter life, and the Fantastic Four as his almost family for his super hero life. Honestly, how did he get so lucky?

 

 

Peter is sitting in his room having just finished his homework. It's about 10 o’clock. About the time he suits up. Good.

He goes downstairs to double check that Aunt May is asleep. All clear. 

Suiting up probably isn't the best term for getting ready to go be Spider-man, seeing as he pretty much always has his spidey suit under his clothes. Guess it doesn't really matter.

Once he has stripped his civilian clothes off, he also sheds the top of his costume as well. He wears two sports bras under the suit during the daytime, because you can't exactly wear ace bandages 24 hours a day. But at night, he wraps himself up in the bandages because despite the fact that he can't breath as well after a while, it has more compression. The only exceptions are when he knows he will be going up against someone major, or is severely hurt. Severely hurt. Yeah, he knows the risks, but being able to feel like himself? Not wanting to crawl out of his own skin? That, he thinks, is very worth it. 

He loves this part of the night. Just after he gets outside, and he is swinging from building to building, feeling the icy wind against his skin. It almost feels like he is flying. But sadly, reality always comes back to him. If he gets too caught up in his head, he could swing into something. It doesn't happen often, but if he does end up getting majorly injured, he knows he can go to the FF. 

Luckily, he has never been wounded so badly, he has had to reveal his chest. To most people, that time with Doc Ock had probably been enough to go to the hospital, but Peter pushed through, because he would have rather gone through hell before he let anyone in on that secret at that time. Even when he had been shot in the stomach he had only rolled up his suit shirt just enough. Mr. Fantastic luckily didn't say anything about it. 

Now, knows better. He knows that if he gets injured as badly as he did in the chest again, he will allow Reed to help. He knows how the gang feels about lgbt+ rights. They would never hate him for that. 

But that is only an _if _situation. _If _that happens. If it doesn't happen, then no one needs to know. It's not their business unless Peter allows it to be their business.____

These are the kind of things Peter often thinks about while he patrols the streets. Sometimes it distracts him. Sometimes it makes the punches come faster. It's certainly better than thinking about how awful some of the people he has to stop are. 

He gets quite a few people tonight. One guy was trying to stab a homeless guy to ‘put him out of his misery’. Honestly? Are you kidding? People these days. 

Sometimes, after a long night, he goes to the statue of liberty. Looking out at the city at night, from up there, is really nice. It's really refreshing. The colors of the city against the dark night sky. It is one of the best things about living in New York if you ask him. An added bonus, is if Johnny Storm is up there.

Johnny Storm. The guy is Peter’s best friend. He matches his personality like a bed and someone who hasn't slept in three days. Like food and your stomach when you get home after the school bullies ruined your lunch. Like two sarcastic idiots who will do almost anything to help someone in need. Johnny doesn't know this, but Pete has had the biggest crush on Johnny for almost as long as they met. I mean, do you blame him? He's a total hottie. Pun intended. Peter is just a bug attracted to his flame. 

 

 

Johnny burns hot. Not just on the outside, but on the inside too. He may be able to literally set himself on fire, but he has always been alight inside. He burns with passion. He burns for everything he loves. He would burn himself out before he let someone hurt his friends or family. So the fact that he is now the human torch? Pretty spot on. 

Speaking of people he loves, here comes Spidey right now. Everyone knows Johnny Storm is bi. It's pretty obvious considering the amount of men and women he brings into his bed. Well, not his bed, but their bed, or maybe even a cheap motel bed. He may be rich, but he isn't going to waste too much money on things like that. He just wishes he could have Spider-man be one of them. 

But then again, he is really glad Spidey isn't one of them, because he wants something more. He doesn't want a random stranger. It couldn't possibly be just a quick fuck like so many others, this is his best friend he is talking about. He doesn't want to make a move because he doesn't want Spidey to end up leaving him like he leaves all his one night stands. He doesn't want to ruin their friendship. 

Contrary to popular belief, he does want all that cheesy stuff. Despite what you might have heard, he isn't just some robot who's only goal is sex. He wants to be able to wake up in the morning with someone to hold next to him. not just a warm body, but _his _warm body. He wants to hold him and let the outside world fade away. He wants showers together, in a mostly non-sexual way. He wants burnt breakfast and coffee that is far too hot while they are still half asleep. He wants the worst rom-coms on in the background while they fall asleep on the couch.__

He realizes where his thought process has gone, and shakes it off immediately. He isn't supposed to think like that. Not about his best friend.

Peter swings up onto lady liberty’s head. He is able to relax quickly. This is his safe space. Nothing can touch him when he is high up away from everyone and his problems. It also helps that Johnny is there. 

Johnny is just looking out over everything enjoying the view when Peter decides to sit next to him. It's nice when they can just enjoy each other's company. 

It's also nice when they can rant to each other. 

“It's been a wild night.” Peter starts.  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Crazy girl with katanas.”  
“Like deadpool?  
“Hell no. She wasn't nearly as good with weapons, but at least she didn't have voices talking to her. Or didn't call me baby boy.” Pete was downplaying this event. She had actually got him a few times. Not good enough to knock him down, but they were pretty painful at the moment.  
“Ugh. why does he call you that anyway?”  
“I don't know. But it gets annoying.”  
“I can imagine. It's way worse than my nicknames.”  
“Yeah. At least Matchstick and Hothead aren't degrading.”  
“You gotta admit, they are pretty funny.”

They carry on mindless conversations for nearly an hour. They could talk about anything and everything, and because they were them, it would never turn sour or awkward. They always managed to avoid touchy subjects or say things that would hurt the other. If they needed to get something out, then they could. Who knows how many times they have ranted to each other about an asshole that said something about social rights or politics. There were a few times they had to bring the other down from a panic attack. Hey, even super heroes can have anxiety about things. 

“I should get going, I have school tomorrow.” Peter says.  
“Yeah, me too. G’night Spidey.”  
“G’night Johnny.”

They set off in their own directions. 

 

 

In the morning, Peter woke up and slammed his alarm clock off. It took him hitting snooze multiple times before he actually got up. When he did, it pained him to put on a casual bra and put the act back on. But like always, he pushed through. 

After breakfast, he got up from the table and started to head out the door.

“Bye Aunt May! See you when i get home!”  
“Goodbye Paula dear! Have a good day!”

He cringed at the name, but it didn't show on his face. He left for school.

Peter loved learning. He really did. It was the people that were the problem. Specifically, Flash Thompson and his lot. 

It seemed as if Flash’s one purpose in life was to make Peter feel as awful as possible. The relentless teasing, the physical brutality, the mental wear down from him using names like ‘girly’, or ‘paulina’. 

Before and after every class, if Flash saw him, he would start the relentless torture. And Peter had to endure. There were locker slammings, and stomach punches when the gang felt the need. Other times, it would be creative sayings in class. ‘Polly want a cracker’ seemed to be a popular choice. But Peter knew, if he could handle aliens, inhumans, and other insane things that seem too impossible to exist, then he could handle some jerks. 

Even if he had to get beat to a pulp, he wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of giving up. Although, it was kind of upsetting how no one cared what happened to others as long as Flash wasn't using them as his personal punching bag. The only other thing Peter thought about the situation, was that he was glad it was him and not any other people. He was glad Flash only hurt Peter himself, and not a random innocent person. 

Today, he actually went home with a few bruises. Luckily, not anywhere Aunt May would see. Just on the stomach and legs. Flash knew better than to go for his face. 

When Peter locked himself in his room after he go home, he took off his clothes and looked at himself in the mirror. Other than the uncomfortable dysphoria settling in, he looked at himself with worry. Almost his entire stomach was covered in black and blue, and there were random cuts all over from getting too comfortable in fights. Most significantly, there was a large cut on his upper left thigh. If he kept going like he did, he might end up losing efficiency, or possibly even his life. And while, sure, he was reckless sometimes, he wasn't actively trying to put himself in harm’s way. He just wanted to help people. 

He didn't consider this bad enough to stop him from going out that night. 

Which, later that night, turned out to be a mistake. 

 

 

He went out patrolling as usual. When his spidey-sense went off, whatever he had expected, this wasn't it. 

He swung into a warehouse. There were lots of big boxes full of who knows what. Whoever it was that the spidey-sense had been warning him of, Peter couldn't see them immediately. They must be out of eye sight. He turned one of the corners, and he saw a guy on the phone who seemed to be talking about shipping out weapons. Great. The boxes must be full of weapons.

"Cough cough." Peter pulled the guy out of his conversation.  
"Shit. You're Spider-man." he said as he reached behind his back.

So the fight begun.

He had been in the middle of the fight with the guy, who had surprisingly really good skills, when an explosion happened across the warehouse. That had apparently been just enough of a distraction for a second guy to appear out of nowhere and stab him with a knife in - guess where - the chest. Just under his right breast. He then quite literally disappeared. The fucker. He hated teleporters.

This shocked the guy with the shiv so badly, that he just dropped the weapon and ran. 

Peter didn't know what to do with himself. He just stood there for a moment in shock until adrenaline kicked in. He knew he would die if he just waited there. He walked out with the remaining strength he had. He saw a payphone attached to the outside wall of the place and thanked anything that was out there. He dragged himself with all his might and made it to the phone. He nearly collapsed the second he set foot in front of it, but with a struggle, he kept upright. He dialed a familiar number, heard a familiar voice, whispered the address he was at and a small ‘help’ before everything turned to black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter woke up in a hospital room in the Baxter Building. He still had his mask on, it was rolled up to his nose. Although he only had on a hospital robe on his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second chapter. I know Reed isn't a medical doctor, but for this, just pretend he is. Yet another amazing thing Reed Richards can do. I hope you all like it.

Peter woke up in a hospital room in the Baxter Building. He still had his mask on, it was rolled up to his nose. Although he only had on a hospital robe on his body. 

He wondered what had gone on, and what had been said while he was out. He was glad they left on his mask. Peter found that he was too exhausted to think about it and went back to sleep. 

 

 

To say that Johnny had freaked out, would be the understatement of the year. Spidey had been stabbed. He had almost died in his arms. The Spider-man, his best friend, had called him at 1 o’clock in the morning because he was literally about to die. He would be lying if he said he hadn't cried on the way to the Baxter Building after he found him. He had thought he was dead at first. 

Now, he was just numb. It felt as though everything was a movie with a sick sense of humor. He could only hear white noise. He was trying to process what had happened only a few hours ago. He only barely managed to save the life of his best friend. If he hadn't…

No. Don't go there. That isn't what happened. 

He had freaked out, gone into shock, had a panic attack, back into shock, and now he was numb. He was completely drained of energy at this point.

At least he was alive. Spidey had been close to death, but he had saved him in time. 

 

 

There was mass panic among the building when word got around that Spider-man could be dead. Especially with Johnny, Sue, Reed, and Ben. 

Reed always does stuff just in time. He worked his magic again. 

Johnny, Sue, and Ben all insisted on being in the room with Reed while he tried to help Web-head. So it was an all around shock when Reed ripped off Spidey’s shirt to find ace bandages covering his chest and bruises and cuts covering his stomach. At first Johnny had thought the bandages were for more injuries until Reed took them off. Even while he was passed out, you could see Spidey taking in larger breaths. 

Johnny might like sex, but he’s not a pervert, so he turned around when he realized what he was seeing. He could hear Reed stop breathing while Sue gasped. Ben turned around as well after saying “holy shit”. Like Reed, Flame-brain stopped breathing for a minute. He didn't know what he was supposed to make of the situation. He didn't mean to find out. He hoped the guy wouln't be pissed with them. 

Unlike him, Reed kept his cool and continued working. They knew Spidey would probably prefer Reed to work on him than anyone else, despite what his body looks like. 

It's pretty cool that Spider-man is trans. 

 

 

When Pete woke up for the second time, he had the sense to actually look at his wound. It was wrapped up in gauze, so he couldn't really see it, but he knew it had been done up well if it was fixed by Reed. 

It was at this moment that Sue walked in. 

“How are you feeling?” she asked.  
“Next to nothing with all the drugs you probably have me on.”  
“Are you sure? You look pretty tired.”  
“Yup, i'm doing just peachy. I have a healing factor anyway, so i should heal up pretty quick, even if it isn't the best healing factor out there.”  
“Good, because we need to talk.”

Shit. He really doesn't want to have this conversation. Even if it is with Sue.

“Do you have any idea how stupid you are?! Not only using ace bandages to bind, but while in combat?!? You shouldn't have been fighting with so many bruises anyway! Where did they all come from? I swear to god if you tell me they all came from recent fights, i know you're lying, i know how good a fighter you are. You better tell me the truth.”

Damn, she can scare the shit out of you even when she’s trying to be caring. 

“Yeah, i know i'm stupid. I know how stupid it was. That was a conscious decision i made. I can still fight pretty well in the bandages. I've used them almost every time I suit up.”  
“Goddamn it.” she put her head in her hand. She stood there for a few seconds silently before speaking up. “Why, did you make that decision? And don't avoid my other question. Where did the bruises come from?”

Fuck. He guesses he can't get out of that.

“Well, i would rather hurt myself then feel the dysphoria, or be misgendered. I wanted to make sure i would be called Spider-man, and not Spider-woman.”

Sue still had her head in her hand. He saw her take a deep breath in and out.

“The other question.”  
“Well… It's a long story.” 

Please let him out of this. 

She lifted her head and pulled up a chair.

“I've got time.” she said. 

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

He stared at her.

She stared at him.

He begged with his eyes.

She didn't budge.

“Well, there are these guys at school, and i couldn't let anything change between before Spider-man and after, so i just kept letting them wail on me. Plus i didn't want them to move on to some other innocent person if when i beat them, they stopped beating on me.” He tried to say it as quickly as possible.

He saw her eye twitch. He would rather be getting beat up by Flash again than having this discussion.

She took long breaths. She looked like she had just got out of jail after 20 years and was about to go after the person that framed her.

The second it seemed like she was going to break the silence, Johnny burst through the door.

“What the hell! I was watching on the security feed and this is horse shit! You can't just let them beat the snot out of you just because they feel like it! I swear i'll-”  
“Johnny.” she stood up.  
“What Sue!? I'm going to beat those jerks to a pulp as soon as Web-slinger over here tells me who the fuck would beat on my best-”  
“Jonathan Storm!”  
“What!”

Johnny had flamed on he had got so upset. 

“Flame off Johnny.” was all she said.

He did as he was told.

“How could anyone do that? Beat up someone who wasn't even fighting back?” Johnny looked so genuinely upset it made Peter feel awful.

“I don't know Johnny.” she replied. 

Peter now realizes they both look like the haven't slept in a week. He tries not to feel like it is his fault, but it isn't really working out for him.

“Hey guys, you know i'm right here, right?” Peter says.

They both turned to look at him. 

“You know you could have told us? We would have helped you. You know how we feel about this kind of stuff.” said Sue.  
“Yeah, i know. I just… wasn't ready i guess. How many people know?”  
“Just us. The four of us i mean. Me, Sue, Ben, and Reed.” Johnny said.  
“Okay. Thanks for leaving my mask on, but where is the rest of my suit? How long have i been out?"  
"We are having it fixed because there was a hole and blood all over it. Its been a few hours. It's 5 am." Sue told me.  
"You know you guys really don't have to do that right? You have already helped enough."  
"Well you have helped us in the past too. Even if you hadn't, we still would have wanted to save the life of our friendly neighborhood Spider-man." She gave a small smile as she said the last part.  
"Plus, you're my pal, Spidey. How could we not help you?" Johnny said with a toothy grin.

What did he do to know such wonderful people?

Reed and Ben decided to come through the door as well. 

"I was watching on the security feed, and you're even more of an idiot than i thought if you really think we wouldn't do just about anything for ya Webbs." butted in Ben.  
"Who else is watching this room on a security feed? The whole Baxter Building?"  
"I actually wasn't watching. I just had these specially made." said Reed.

He tossed Pete two binders. One was a tri-top, and one was a tank top.

"Reed, I... I don't know what to say." He felt absolute joy at the thought of a real binder. It was too good. He didn't deserve this.  
"You don't have to say anything. It was a pleasure." He smiled gently.  
"I love you guys. I love you guys so much."  
"Love you too Spidey-poo." said Johnny with a smirk. Ben elbowed him.  
"We love you too. You'll always have a family with us." Sue followed up.

They were all smiling down at him. Peter could feel the tears coming. He blinked them back the best he could, but if you looked close enough, you could see them threatening to spill over.

"I'll go get you some clothes, instead of that hospital gown. But after you get dressed, you really need some rest."  
"Alright." 

Just as the gang was about to walk out the door Peter said "Wait."

They all stopped and turned to look at him once again.

"After all this, you guys at least deserve to know who I am."  
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to buddy. We don't need to know if you don't actually want to tell us." Johnny said. Johnny didn't want Spidey to tell them his identity just because he felt bad or whatever. He wanted him to do it when he was ready. 

Peter decided he was ready. He had waited long enough. They already knew everything else about him, so why not just show them his face?

"No. I want to."

Peter pulled the mask off the rest of his face. He smiled at four of the most wonderful people he had ever met. They smiled right back.

"Hi. My name is Peter Parker."


	3. Trying Them On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reed allows Peter to leave the Baxter Building the next day, on the condition that he won't let himself get hurt at school, or go out crime fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, i'm sorry it took a little longer than expected to get this chapter out. I have been dealing with some of my own issues that have been wearing down my writing abilities, but here it is! I promise to try harder and get the show on the road.

Reed allows Peter to leave the Baxter Building the next day, on the condition that he won't let himself get hurt at school, or go out crime fighting. 

That is going to be a challenge. The first probably more so than the second. 

When he gets to Aunt May’s house after he is released, she asks him where he was.

“So, where did you go Paula? And what were you doing? Who were you with? I was getting worried there for a bit.”  
“I was with some friends. We were just hanging out.” he said, slightly uncomfortable.  
“Oh. I see. Who are these friends of yours? They aren't going to be getting you into any trouble are they dear?” Peter let out a small laugh at that. The Fantastic Four? Getting him into trouble? Ridiculous.  
“Of course not. They are very nice people Aunt May. Don't worry.”  
“Alright. But if they even think of hurting you, i will hunt them down.” she claimed with a determined face.  
“You know i can protect myself, don't you?” he let out with a small chuckle.  
“Yes, but you are my neice. I raised you. I would do anything to make you feel safe and cared for.”  
“Aww. That's sweet of you May.” Peter tried to hold down the upsetting lurch in his chest.  
“I mean it Paula! Anything you need, anytime you want, i am here. Always have, always will be.”  
“Thanks.”  
“It's no trouble.” she gave him her best smile, and turned back to making lunch.

Peter turned to go upstairs, and was halfway to his room when Aunt May called out. 

“Were there any boys dear?”

Well, technically there were three, but he wasn't about to tell his aunt that. Two of them were like brothers to him anyway. And one had a girlfriend. Although, there was Johnny he supposes.

“Nope, it was just us girls. No one to be worried about.” It felt so fake coming out of his mouth there might as well have been flashing neon lights ratting him out.

“Okay sweetheart, just checking. You would tell me if there were, right?”  
“Yeah, absolutely.”

He felt horrible lying to her like that. But what was he supposed to do? Tell her the truth? Let her freak out? He wasn't ready to tell her yet. Or at least that's what he told himself. 

 

When he got to his room, he flops down on his bed, only to be reminded that he shouldn't be making such sudden movements when he feels a horrible pain taking over his right side. 

Damn that teleporter. 

Ben said he would clobber ‘that teleporting snot nosed jerk’ if they found him. Peter didn't think that would necessarily be the best course of action, but the thought was nice. 

He got up after a few moments, and decided to try on the binders Reed gave him. His heart let out a swell of affection at the reminder of all the FF had done for him.

He walked across the room to the bag that held the two binders that Reed Richards, of the Fantastic Four, made specially for him.

He took out the tri-top first, and slid it on once he was undressed. It felt right. It felt normal, and comfortable. It was an incredulous moment. 

His chest was even more compressed than the ace bandages, and he could move without anything digging into his sides. He could actually breath, both physically, and emotionally. 

He put a shirt on to see how it looked, and oh hell was it magical. All the air left his body, but for once, in a good way. 

It felt as if he finally fit in his own body. Comfortable in his own skin. He let out a dry sob and thanked his lucky stars for the friends he had made.

He soon took off the tri-top, and swapped it for the tank top one instead.

When Peter looked at himself this time, he allowed the tears to roll down his face. What was the point of trying to hold them back anymore when he felt this much joy?

It looked like a real tank top. It looked like a real shirt. It looked like he was a regular boy wearing summer clothes, and not a girl trying to be a boy. He looked at himself and felt finally happy with himself. He was drunk in joy as he started to dance around the room. If anything would have walked in on this, they might have laughed at how Peter was dancing, but to be fair, he had too many emotions in his body that he needed to express. 

Nothing could stop him now.

 

 

Johnny Storm was the kind of guy that would do anything to protect the people he loved. This included Peter Parker. 

That is why he may or may not have followed Peter home to make sure he got home safe. Definitely not to find out where he lived.

He followed him until Peter walked into and old, homey looking house. As Johnny got closer to the house, the lower he crouched down so he would remain out of sight. He walked up to one of the widows in the front of the house, and peeked through one of the corners as he tried to make himself as small as possible. He saw Peter and an old lady standing in the living room. They were talking about something, and Johnny tried his best to hear what they were saying. 

He missed the first part of what they said, but he assumed his aunt was questioning him about where he was and all that. Pete said he had been with nice people, and his aunt said she would hunt them down if they hurt him. Johnny thinks he likes Peter’s aunt. 

The next thing he knew, Peter had said something about protecting himself, and his aunt said she would do anything to protect her niece. And was calling him Paula. Then when Peter started going upstairs, he answered the question about boys with ‘just us girls’. 

Johnny didn't know how to take this new information. Did she not accept him, or did she just not know?

Johnny hoped for the latter.

When Peter made it up the stairs, Johnny went around the house in search of Peter’s window.

It's was on the second story, so he had to flame on his lower half to fly up. When he found it, he was happy to find that the blinds were open. 

He peeked in just in time to see the Web-head flop on the bed, and wince as soon as he landed. The idiot. Doesn't he know to be more careful with such serious wounds?

He laid there for a while, until he got up to walk across the room to a bag. He saw Pete take the binders Reed had given him out of it. When he started getting undressed, Johnny looked away until he thought it would be safe. 

Peter looked at himself proudly. Johnny was happy for him. He deserved this. Spidey put a shirt on over it, and he thought Pete might start to cry. He didn't though, so Johnny was able to hold a leash on his emotions. 

He looked away as Peter tried on the tank top binder.

When he looked up again, he saw as Peter let go of whatever he had been holding back and there were tears rolling down his face. Peter looked so, so genuinely happy. When he started dancing like the idiot Johnny swore he was, he had to admit, he did laugh a little. But he knew the guy wasn't exactly trying right now, as he thought he was alone.

Even though Johnny had laughed, he knew a little of what Peter felt. Sure, he knew gender was a completely different thing than sexuality, and that it was a hell of a lot harder to hide who you are physically rather than mentally, but Johnny remembered hiding who he was. He remembered hiding his sexuality. Not just from the public, but from his family as well. He had figured out that he was attracted to both men and women about the time he turned 13. At that time, he didn't want to tell anyone, because he had just figured out why people had called those girls holding hands 'dykes'. He had just figured out why people had just called those guys looking at each other for just a little too long 'faggots'. 

How else was he supposed to think at that time, in that kind of situation?

So, no, Johnny would never be able to know exactly how Peter felt, but he knew what it was like to not think you would be accepted by anyone. Of course, now he knew that not everyone thought like that. Now he knew that it didn't matter what your sexuality was, or what gender you were, or what body you had been born with. Now he knew that not every one was a complete asshole.

And now Peter knew that too. So when Johnny watched Peter crying and dancing with so much joy, and so much glee, he may have teared up a little.

After he saw his friend start to calm down a little, he let himself down, walk a safe distance away, and fly away from the little neighborhood.


	4. Aunt May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, Peter debates whether or not to wear one of his new binders to school, or more importantly, in front of Aunt May. 
> 
> On one hand, wearing it would definitely help with the dysphoria, but on the other hand…
> 
> Is it worth it? Maybe it's time to come out anyway, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts, because the next chapter is going to have a lot of angst.

The next morning, Peter debates whether or not to wear one of his new binders to school, or more importantly, in front of Aunt May. 

On one hand, wearing it would definitely help with the dysphoria, but on the other hand…

Is it worth it? Maybe it's time to come out anyway, right?

He’s already come out to the FF, so why not Aunt May?

Well. He has been waiting for the right moment. In fact, he thinks he hears her downstairs making breakfast. Alright, time to hype himself up.

His head is spinning and his ears are pounding as he makes his way down the stairs. He realizes he still looks like the living dead in his pajamas, but it doesn't really matter. 

The smell of eggs and cheese hits his nose, and he all but swoons over to the kitchen table until he realizes what he is here to do.

He could still turn around and leave. Aunt May is turned around and hasn't noticed him yet. He can still change his mind.

In fact, he thinks he’ll do just that. That is, until Aunt May turns around just as he is about to stand up and leave the table to retreat back into his safe room where he won't have to worry about any of this.

“Paula, are you alright, dear? You look worried about something.”

Aw hell.

“Um… can we talk?” he said in a small voice. He shouldn't be afraid of this when he has fought so many villains. Not only that, but he beat them all. Telling family who you are should be easy. It's not like he isn't already out to the Fantastic Four right? Well, he guesses he didn't really tell them, more that they found out. Either way, he should be able to tell his Aunt. The one who raised him. The one who loved him when nothing else did. This shouldn't change that. 

“Yes, of course. Just let me finish these omelets.”

Mmm, so that's what it was.

She finished them up and put them on some plates. She picked them up and walked over to the table. She set their food down. 

“Okay. Now what is it?” she asked with patience. Oh lord, Peter was not holding up well.

“Um, I… I need to tell you something.”  
“Anything, sweetheart.”  
“Uh, you- you might not like it.”

She gave him a stern look. 

“If you are doing something illegal or-”  
“No! No, not like that. I'm not doing anything bad. It's something else.” he scratched the back of his neck.  
“Well then, what is it Paula?” She saw him flinch hard.  
“I'm… i'm…” 

It felt like there was a rock in his throat. There was something screaming at him to stop and run away. There was something telling him he couldn't do it, and that this would ruin everything and Aunt May would hate him. But then again, that voice was always there. It had been there when he almost lost to the green goblin. When he was fighting the Lizard. Every time he went up against something that seemed too much, too impossible to beat.

Aunt May put her hand on his from across the table.

But every time, he ignored it. He pushed through. He won the battle against all of them. He had to, or else he wouldn't be alive right now. He could have given up, but he didn't. He didn't because hundreds of people could have been hurt. And he didn't let that happen. If he could do all that, he can do this. He can work past the lump in his throat.

“I'm transgender.” 

There was a look on her face that was pure confusion. Oh no.

 

 

Aunt May had always taken on any kind of challenge. 

Raising a little girl had been one of them. 

She saw her sweet Paula take on anything she was given. She saw Paula grow, and learn, and become the brilliant young lady she knew her to be. She watched on as she saw her niece growing up. Sure, she was a handful sometimes, but that was nothing compared to what she had to deal with when she couldn't help Paula with those nasty bullies at school.

She took on anything that came her way with stride. 

But this is not what she had been expecting when the child she raised told her that they were transgender. 

 

 

Oh Jesus. Oh fuck. He shouldn't have come here, he should have stayed up in his room, he should have-

“Calm down, dear.” She squeezed his hand.

He looked up to find a look of hurt on her face. Oh no. That was so impossibly worse than confusion. Oh god. Was he going to be kicked out? Was he going to have to live on the street? How would he get food? How was-

“Sweetheart, calm down. What do you mean you're transgender? Why didn't you tell me sooner?” Didn't he trust her enough to know that that wouldn't matter to her? 

Oh that wasn't what he thought the hurt meant. He took a shaky breath.

“I mean i'm a boy. I always have been. It took me a while to realize it, and even longer to accept it. I, i'm, i'm sorry.”

He lowered his head and closed his eyes shut tight. It still didn't stop the tears from coming through.

“How dare you. Look at me.” she squeezed his hand hard.

That was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He didn't want to see the disappointment or hate in her eyes. But when he looked up, that's not what he saw.

“How dare you ever think that you needed to be afraid of telling me. I love you no matter who you are. No matter who you have been, or who you will be. I admit, calling you a boy will be tough to get use to, but that does not mean i won't try my hardest.”

Peter let out a broken sob. Aunt May got up and walked around to where peter was sitting. She stood him up and hugged him. He cried into her shirt.

They stood like that for a while. Peter let everything go, while Aunt May rubbed his back.

When Peter started to collect himself, May asked him what his name is.

“Peter. My name is Peter.” He said as he stepped back. He had the biggest, dorkiest grin on his face you could imagine.

“Alright Peter.” She gave him a teary smile back.

Now how does he go about telling her he already has two binders?

“Uh, Aunt May?”  
“Yes, Peter?” They both smiled.  
“You know those friends i was with yesterday?”  
“...yes?”  
“They may or may not have found out that i'm trans, and they may or may not be rich, and they may or may not have insisted on giving me some binders.”

Aunt May gave him a look.

“I know! I tried to tell them that i didn't need them, and i tried to tell them they don't need to give me anything, but they wouldn't listen! They know we aren't exactly made of money, so they made me take them.”  
“Who are these friends of yours?” Oh boy.  
“Well, they're, uh, just some people.”  
“Why have I never met them before?”  
“They, um, they’re busy all the time.”  
“Why have i never heard you mention them before yesterday?”  
“I guess they just never came up in conversation.”  
“Uh-huh.” 

She gave him another look.

“When will i get to meet these friends?”  
“I’ll have to ask them when they're free.”

Another look.

“I have to go get ready for school.”  
“Are you going to wear the binders?”  
“...yeah. Yeah i think i will.”

She smiled. Her niec- _nephew_ is all grown up.


	5. Here Goes Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny was on the way to school when Peter called him. It sent his mind into a temporary panic. What if he had been hurt again?
> 
> He calmed down immediately when he heard Pete on the other line.
> 
> “Johnny! Oh my god! Guess what!” Peter’s voice was full of pure joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I know it has been too long since my last update, but it's hard to write a chapter when you're dealing with personal stuff. So anyway, I hope you like this chapter.

Johnny was on the way to school when Peter called him. It sent his mind into a temporary panic. What if he had been hurt again?

He calmed down immediately when he heard Pete on the other line.

“Johnny! Oh my god! Guess what!” Peter’s voice was full of pure joy. It made Johnny happy just thinking about his stupid smile.  
“What? Did you win a giftcard to Starbucks?”  
“As nice as that would be, no. I told my Aunt May that i'm trans, and she is gonna try to help. She called me my name and is using male pronouns and everything! Like, i'm used to being treated as myself when i'm suited up, but this is my Aunt May. This is to my face, not just through some mask.”  
“That's great Pete! I'm happy for you!”  
“I'm walking to school right now and, i don't know if it was the best decision, but i'm wearing one of the binders you guys gave me to school.”

That however, was not so great. Johnny knew how the people at his school felt about sexuality, so how would people like that react to someone being transgender? Even some of the nicest people Johnny had met had almost been beat on some kids because they ‘looked too gay’. That is, until Johnny had stepped in. There was some advantage to being popular because of being in the FF.

“Are you sure that was the smartest idea Pete?”  
“I know, i know. I mean, what could they possibly do?”  
“Did you look at all the bruises they gave you? They could do that again Pete. And you better stop them if they go too far. And by too far i mean if they lay a hand on you at all.”  
“Johnny i’ll be fine. I know how to take care of myself.” He could practically hear the brunette roll his eyes.  
“You sure about that?”  
“Of course! I'm Spider-man! I can take care of some bullies.”  
“Alright. Call me if you think you are going to get stabbed again.”  
“Dude. that was one time.”  
“The offer still stands.”  
“Whatever. Talk to ya later Flamebrain.”  
“Bye Webbs.”

Johnny couldn't help but be worried. He knew Spider-man could handle himself, but Peter Parker? He knows how Pete is about his secret identity. But he isn't sure how far the guy is willing to go to keep it a secret.

 

 

Peter shouldn't have worn the binder. How could he expect the dysphoria to diminish if everyone was going to be treating him like a girl? Should he even come out at school? 

The closer he got to school the more he wanted to go back home and change. Now was the time to decide what he was going to do. 

Coming out would result in more bullying, but wouldn't it be worth it? He knows not everyone is like that. Not everyone is transphobic. 

Wait, now that he thinks about it, isn't Flash a huge fan of Spider-man? A lot of people love Spider-man. What if he came out as Spider-man, and then came out as Peter? It might take some of the heat off for him. Yea. That sounds like a good idea.

Not only would it help himself, but it could potentially help out loads of other trans people. Imagine how many people it would help if they knew Spider-man was trans?

So for now, he needs to keep it under wraps. 

He's wearing a sweatshirt today anyway, so it should keep it covered.

 

 

When he arrived at school, he had to make a run for it to get to class on time. 

But, alas, due to the typical Parker Luck, he tripped. On someone’s foot. 

“Hey Parker, where do you think you're going? You haven't even said good morning.” 

Of course. He just had to have a run in with the jerk that is Flash. Just like every day. At least this time there wasn't a bra digging into his ribs. 

Peter just grumbled. He was trying to pick up the papers that had spilled out of his bag when a red-headed girl came over. 

“Flash, stop bothering this kid. They were just trying to get to class.”  
“What do you care? You're just some slut.”  
“How would you know? Did we have the same pimp?” She said sarcastically. Peter tried to hold back a snort. Flash almost looked impressed.  
“Anyway, leave this kid alone, or else my fist and your face are gonna talk.”

Despite the corny line, It seemed like something about this girl terrified Flash, that is, until the initial shock wore off and the anger settled back in him. 

“I'd like to see you try.” He snarled.

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I don't know… i just got my nails done yesterday… maybe later.” At that, Peter couldn't hold his laughter back anymore. He started snickering, and Flash glared at him like there was no tomorrow. 

“Whatever. I'm not gonna waste my time. I have a class to get to.” and with that Flash turned and walked away.

Peter finished picking up his things and shoved them all in his bag. He stood up and smiled at the redhead that helped him out.

“Hey, thanks for that. You really didn't have to.”  
“I know i didn't have to, i wanted to. Getting some chumps to shut up is what i live for. My name is Mary Jane. MJ for short.” She held out her hand.  
“I'm Pe- I'm Paula. Well, i got to get to class. See you around.” He shook her hand.  
“See ya.”

That girl MJ seemed pretty cool. 

 

 

At the end of the day, Peter just wanted to go home. And this time, that wish seemed to have come true. 

He was about halfway to the house when his phone alerted him that he got a text. 

**flameboy : hey, have there been any more encounters with knives recently?**  
**webshooter ;) : nope. i got lucky today.** **flameboy : aw man. thats just too bad. thought i was gonna have to save the day again.**  
**webshooter ;) : i dont need you or your stupid fire powers.**  
**flameboy : well damn, you aren’t even that cute anyway :’(**  
**webshooter ;) : you dont have to lie to yourself sweetheart**  
**flameboy : :/**  
**webshooter ;) : :)))**  
**flameboy : no but really, how did people take the fact that youre trans?**  
**webshooter ;) : i actually changed my mind. i have a plan**  
**flameboy : what plan??**  
**webshooter ;) : trust me, after i go through with it, youll know**  
**flameboy : pete youre scaring me**  
**webshooter ;) : dont worry you won't have to wait that long :)))**  
**flameboy : dont do this to me pete**  
**webshooter ;) : too late i'm already doing it**  
**flameboy : :(((**  
**webshooter ;) : ttyl**

Peter pocketed his phone as he walked up to his door. After he and Aunt May exchanged loud hellos through the house, he walked up the stairs and flopped on his bed.

He laid there until he got up to do his homework. After hours of laboring through endless papers (and no, he totally didn't spend part of that time dozing off), he decided to go save some civilians. (And also maybe go through with his plan.)

When he made sure the coast was clear, he swung out the window.

He was got a few baddies throughout the night. He was just about to go back home when he spotted a news van. 

He might have been trying to avoid this, and was even thinking of backing out of coming out to the world, but he knew it would just bother him until he did it.

But then he realized there were multiple news vans. Not only that, but there were lots of police there too. In front of an abandoned apartment building. Why must they always be abandoned buildings? 

He walked up to an officer, and despite their surprise at seeing him, he learned that all the commotion was because the guy in the building was demanding large sums of money while holding people hostage. 

He managed to get control of the situation pretty quickly, since the guy apparently didn't expect Spidey to show up. He guessed now was as good a time as ever to reveal the secret. 

The second he walked out of the building cops rushed in. 

“What? No thank yous?” He commented.

He walked past the ‘do not cross’ tape, and this got the reporter's attention quickly.

They crowded him and rushed questions at him. They asked good questions, bad questions, and rude questions. 

“Excuse me, but i have something to say.”

They all shut up so fast it was scary. 

Here goes nothing.

“I know i'm just some vigilante”, he heard someone scream ‘that's not true!’, “but due to some things that have been going on in my life recently, i have decided that i need to reveal something.”

The moment he said ‘reveal’, he was once again bombarded with questions. Did they honestly think he was going to reveal his identity?

 

 

Ben had just got back from the kitchen and now sat comfortably on the living room couch. 

He was channel surfing when suddenly, he saw Spider-man on the news. He turned up the volume and took a sip of his drink.

When that web faced idiot said he was going to reveal something, all the drink that had been in his mouth was spit everywhere in front of him. What was this kid about to do?

“Everyone get in here!”

 

 

“I'm a transboy.” There was a moment of utter silence all around Peter. A calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, listen. I tried really hard to get this chapter how I wanted it, but it just wouldn't work. I rewrote this so many times I lost count. I'm not going to start listing all the reasons in my life why I couldn't get myself to focus, but I hope you can forgive me if you hate this. 
> 
> Also, if the reason you hate me is because of where i left you off, i'm not that sorry :)


	6. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny wanted to be angry. He really did. But that is kind of hard when you can't stop laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. Never have been more sorry. I didnt mean for this to happen, it just... did. 
> 
> i have a million excuses, but its not like you guys care about my bullshit lol.
> 
> This chapter has a bunch of dysphoria (totally not bc im dealing with it rn :))) hahaaa)
> 
> Anyway, i think i have the next few chapters planed out. Here is this. Enjoy :)))))))

Johnny wanted to be angry. He really did. But that is kind of hard when you can't stop laughing.

When Johnny saw on the news that Peter outed himself, the recording was too funny. Because he was circled with reporters all the way around, he could see some of their faces when they processed what they had just heard. 

There was a split second moment before any of them said anything, but then it was like a bomb had went off. They were asking questions so loudly and so fast that you couldn't hear what any of them were saying. 

Not only was their reaction funny, but Spidey’s was even better. He just took off. He just swung out of there. Left them to let the information settle by themselves. Pete just came out to the entire world and left everyone behind like he hadn't just blown every conservative’s tiny little minds. 

He might also have been laughing because he was worried about Pete, and how this would probably come back to bite him in some bullshit way. 

Oh great, now Sue, Ben, and Reed were staring at him. 

Johnny wiped at his eyes and tried to calm down. 

“Did you see their faces! It was totally worth coming out here to see that.”  
“Okay, it was a little funny.” Ben said as he cracked a few laughs and replayed it. As they all watched it again after the initial shock that Peter would come out like that, they were all laughing.

Soon they came back to their senses.

“Oh boy. I can't wait to see if anyone we know is a bigot.” Sue said grimly.

The thought of people they were close to being bigots was not a pleasant one. Especially if they were going to have to work with those people in the future. Of course, this is always a fear, but these are people who are respected and looked up to by millions. And the people who aren't straight and cisgender could be really hurt if their idol is closed minded like that. 

“Hey, let's focus on the positive right now. Look at how much potential this has to help people! Not only could Spider-man be the one young trans kids look up to, but it could make people realize that not everyone is cis! Even superheros!” Reed started ranting. “Even if some people don't change their minds at this, some people will. I wonder how-” 

Johnny started to walk back to his room. Reed was just saying some stuff Johnny already knew for once, and even if he didn't know what Reed was talking about he probably still wouldn't listen anyway. Johnny did need his beauty sleep after all. Oh, who is he kidding, he doesn't need sleep to look amazing. 

 

 

Oh my god. Oh my god. Peter cannot believe he just did that. Why did he just do that? What is wrong with him? 

He guesses it doesn't matter now since he's already done it. 

Peter just swings home and immediately goes to sleep. 

 

 

Peter doesn't remember what he did the night before until he has to decide whether to wear a bra or not. And when he does remember, it hits him like a ton of bricks. 

Peter slowed down. A wave of dysphoria hit him suddenly, for no apparent reason. 

He wanted to lay down and let this pass. He wanted not to have to feel like this. 

He wanted to claw at his skin until it stopped hurting. Until he stopped feeling. Until he stopped feeling like this. 

_wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrong._

It played in his head like a clock ticking. 

Like a bomb that was supposed to go off, but it just _wouldn't stop ticking._

He needed to go. Get out. Leave this place. He needed to not be in this body. The _wrong_ body. 

Fuck. why was he like this? Couldn't he have just had some good luck for once? Not even when he was born? 

He guesses it is always going to be like this. He is always going to have the Parker Luck. 

He supposes he won't feel better if he just lies here and doesn't do anything. 

Slowly, he sits up. He stares at the wall for a few moments. Eventually, he gets up and is able to get dressed. 

In the wrong clothes. 

Yes, of course in the wrong clothes. Because if he comes out the day after Spider-man did, then he’ll look like a fake. 

Fuck society for making every little thing so hard. 

He desperately wanted to talk to someone about this, but who was there to talk to? 

Johnny? He wouldn't get it. He would try to understand, but he would never know how it actually felt to be in this exact situation. 

A therapist? Peter didn't exactly have the money for that, and even if he did, his pride probably wouldn't allow for him to make it to the actual meetings. 

It doesn't matter. He needs to get to school.

 

 

He arrives outside of the school’s front doors, and he hesitates before entering.

Will they know? Would everyone be able to tell, just from the look on his face, just from his clothing choices, that Peter is trans?

Of course not. It's stupid to think so. 

Right?

He goes inside. 

His shitty day continues as he gets his books out of his locker.

He can hear it. He can hear everything everyone is saying about what happened the night before. He really doesn't want to listen to this.

“Oh. my god. Did you hear about what happened last night? Apparently Spider-man is a tranny. It's actually Spider-girl.” “Wait what? Spidey is trans?” “Did you hear what I just said? It's actually a girl.” “Well, just because Spider-man is trans doesn't mean he's less than a boy. He's still a guy.”  
Maybe not everyone at this school was so bad.

“Are you kidding? That… _thing_... is actually a transvestite!” “Hey, if Spidey can be trans, i don't see why other trans people can't be cool. Why does it make someone less of a person for being born in the wrong body?” “Ugh, what, are you one of those things yourself? Don't talk to me again you faggot.”

He heard feet stomping away. 

Well. that was a rude ending to that conversation. Though, most of that conversation had been rude already. 

“Hey Paula!” He heard someone say from further down the hallway.

Oh. Human interaction. 

“Hey.” He responded to the offender. But as he turned around, he saw the redhead from yesterday. He was relieved. 

“Did you do the homework for Mr. Milbrant’s class? I understand what he’s teaching us, but i just didn't have time to finish it.”  
“Yeah, sure.”

He handed her the page of homework he did last night, and told her to give it back at lunch. 

“So, did you hear the news about Spidey last night?”

Oh boy. Maybe if he faked innocence he could avoid having to voice his opinion.

“No. what happened?”  
“It turns out, Spider-man is transgender.”  
“Oh wow, really?” 

He did not want to be here right now.

“Yeah. And assholes keep talking about it like it's the worst thing in the world. It's not even any of our business. He didn't have to tell us, but he did. All he does is try to save people, and help people, but what does he get in return? Nothing. Hate. It's awful.”

Well, that was… unexpected. He guesses he shouldn't have had that little faith in MJ. After all, she did stand up for him yesterday. 

“Yeah, people can be so mean sometimes.”

He decided he liked MJ. Flash didn't even come up to him today, since he was too busy talking and arguing with his buddies. 

The rest of the day, most of other people’s conversations were blocked out by MJ and his own voices. They got on easily. Like they were destined to meet, and be a part of each other's lives.

She made the day a little more bearable.


	7. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dude! Guess frickin’ what?”  
> “Well, something has you excited, so did you finally manage to prank Ben without getting caught?”  
> “Dude. C’mon. Don't underestimate me. I’ll get him one day. But that's not it.”  
> “Then was it-”  
> “If you are done with the trying to make fun of me with answering my question with answers you know are fake, then i can tell you. Unless you don't want to go to a party with the Avengers, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man. i know no amount of apolagies will make up for how long i have been putting off and changing this chapter, so im just gonna give it to you instead of changing things every time i look at it.

Later, when Peter got home, he slipped on a binder and he didn't feel the instant relief.

 

He wished it worked that way. He wished when he, or anyone else like him put on a binder, they could instantaneously feel that little bit better. That little bit of happiness and freedom when you do something to make it feel like your body matches who you are.

 

No, today, it didn’t happen like that. At least it was better than not having it on at all.

 

He decided to go watch a show in the living room until Aunt May was done with dinner.

 

He watched a show that didn’t entirely register in his head for a while.

 

That was, until it was interrupted by Johnny’s ringtone blaring through his phone.

 

He walked upstairs into his room, and answered to none other than the flame brain’s voice.

 

“Dude! Guess frickin’ what?”  
“Well, something has you excited, so did you finally manage to prank Ben without getting caught?”  
“Dude. C’mon. Don't underestimate me. I’ll get him one day. But that's not it.”  
“Then was it-”  
“If you are done with the trying to make fun of me with answering my question with answers you know are fake, then i can tell you. Unless you don't want to go to a party with the Avengers, of course.”

 

If Peter had had a drink in his mouth, he would have spit it out..

 

“What?”  
“Yeah, Sue planned a party up here at Baxter since you came out to everyone and all. She invited a bunch of heroes.”  
“Oh my god.”  
“I know right! Who do you think will actually show though?”  
“I never thought about the fact that all the Avengers and the X-men would know too.”  
“Are you kidding right now? When you decided to come out on live television, everyone finds out. They aren't exactly allowed to hide from the public. They need to know what’s going on all the time.”  
“It just never occurred to me i guess. I was mostly just thinking about the civilians.”  
“Well, now you know. Also, you can't avoid this party. We threw it for you, and it would be super awkward if you didn't come.”  
“Ugh, fine. When is it?”  
“Yay! It's tonight at 10. Because we know your Aunt doesn't know about Spidey and all.”  
“It's still a little early for me to go out don't you think?”  
“Well normal people’s schedules don't usually include parties that start at eleven o’clock at night. So you're gonna have to settle.”  
“Alright, alright. I'm not gonna be happy about it though.”  
“When are you ever happy anyway?”  
“That's fair.”  
“See you tonight!”  
“See you.”

 

Oh boy.

 

 

 

At around nine, as Peter was finishing his homework, he began to panic.

 

What are you supposed to wear to a party full of super heroes? Better yet, what do you wear when you need to keep your identity hidden?

 

After long minutes full of anticipation for being able to meet his icons, anxiety for when he inevitably embarrassed himself, and confusion as to what he was supposed to wear and where exactly in the Baxter building he was supposed to go when he got there.

 

He ended up just going down to tell Aunt May he was going to bed early, then calling Johnny.

 

Five minutes later, he was in his Spidey suit and out the window to go try on some of Johnny’s suits.

 

 

 

When Peter looked at himself in the mirror with a dark grey suit that fit so perfectly, he couldn't remember feeling as good as he did then.

 

Earlier, he felt pretty bad, but now, it almost felt as though he was swinging through the sky that first time again.

 

As soon as Peter stepped out of the bathroom, Johnny wolf whistled.

 

“You look great Pete. Really.”

 

He tried to distract the blush rising to his cheeks with an eye roll.

 

“I would hope so considering how expensive this suit probably is. How much time do we have until the party starts?”  
“About ten minutes. People have already started to get here though.”  
“Alright. You ready to head down?”  
“Yeah, are you? You sure you don't want to take another hour trying to prepare yourself for meeting the X-men? Or the _Avengers?_  
“You’re one to talk. You spent at least twenty minutes just trying to give your hair a, and i quote, ‘a wind-swept look’.”  
“I have to look good! We are meeting some of the coolest people in New York after all. Not all of us get to wear masks all the time without looking stupid.”  
“I thought you said you look good all the time.”  
“I do! But i don't look perfect without effort! Anyway, are you ready to go or not?”  
“As ready i will be.”

 

Peter grabbed his mask and followed after the blond.

 

 

 

As he and Johnny walked through the doorway into the main room, Peter felt as if there was a giant knot in the pit of his stomach. He tried to will it to go away, but that wasn’t really working.

 

Then, it got so much worse when he saw a mix of heroes all suddenly looking at him.

 

The room was then filled with shouts of congratulations and applause.

 

There were so many people. So many heroes. So many people he has looked up to for years, suddenly congratulating him for something as simple and complicated for being himself?

 

How is someone supposed to respond in a situation like that? He suddenly felt stupid wearing his costume's mask with his suit.

 

“Uh- Thanks! Thank you for coming!”

 

Johnny snorted.


	8. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the party, Peter and Johnny were walking back to Johnny’s room to get dressed back into normal clothes. 
> 
> As they walked back in silence, Peter thought over what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay,,, listen,,,,,,,,, i know the young avengers are younger than peter but just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, let me have this

After the party, Peter and Johnny were walking back to Johnny’s room to get dressed back into normal clothes.

As they walked back in silence, Peter thought over what had happened.

 

 

Tony Stark. One of his biggest role models. One of the people who had inspired him to make his web-shooters in the first place. When Pete had told him this, he laughed and said he could come over to the mansion to talk about tech whenever he wanted. He also offered to make a new spidey suit for him in the trans flag colors.

Professor X. He has said he would have invited him to come to his school if he had been a mutant.

The Young Avengers. A whole group of young queer superheroes. They all high-fived him, and even asked if he wanted to join.

The X-men. Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, and Rogue had come up to him and said they knew what it was like to be hated for something they can't change about themselves, and it was good that he had the courage to tell the public like that, especially since it would help others like him as well. Even Wolverine had come up and patted him on the back. Although, he almost fell over from the force of it.

Captain America. He told Pete that he was brave for being able to do what he did every day. That he was brave for being able to come out when he has such a large public presence. He had said, “Son, back then, I wouldn’t have even been able to tell a single person I liked someone of the same gender. But now look at where I am. Seventy years in the future, and now i'm dating my best friend.” he wrapped his arm around Bucky Barnes. “Now look at where we both are. Look at how far the country has come. There is a lot left to fix, but a lot has happened since back in my day. You can be who you really are without worrying about being arrested.”

 

 

They finally got back to Johnny’s room.

By then, it was around one o’clock in the morning. They were both exhausted from all of the interaction, trying to act like they were cool enough to be in the presence of all of their idols.

Johnny cut through Pete’s thoughts.

“Dude. How do you feel about meeting all of those major heroes?”  
“I don’t think I've processed that this is all real yet. This whole night has felt like a dream.”  
“Yeah. Well we should start doing some actual dreaming soon. It's pretty late. And you look especially tired. Do you think you're alright to swing home like this? You could always sleep here, you know.”

Johnny didn’t know if was the lighting, but when Peter took off his mask, he looked like he could pass out at any moment. Johnny made sure to take note of how cute he thought he looked when he was sleepy.

Although he was pretty sure he was in love with him, telling him to stay here for the night wasn’t just a ploy to get him to sleep in the same bed as him. He really was worried about the guy. He didn’t know if it was safe for Pete to swing home like this.

Not only that, but he was still really paranoid about that guy that had just teleported out of nowhere and stabbed his best friend. What if he came back? What if Johnny couldn’t save him a second time? What if one day he had to wake up to the news that one of the only people he can truly talk to is dead?

Those thoughts kept him up at night.

While this was an enticing offer to Peter, he knew he should be getting home.

“As nice as that sounds, Torchy, I have to get home so Aunt May doesn’t know I left. And sleeping on the floor doesn’t sound very comfortable.”  
“As long as you get there before the morning she’ll never know. And you don't have to sleep on the floor, my bed isn't too small for two people. I would know.” he said with a wink.  
Peter rolled his eyes, “Very funny. Is this a weak attempt at hitting on me, Storm?”  
“Would that be a problem, Web-head?”

He should have known it was risky, but at this point he had already said it.

“Hm. Guess not.”

Johnny’s heart caught in his throat. Even in the moonlight, Johnny could see a small blush rising on Peter’s cheeks. He wish he knew what he was thinking right now.

“Maybe you’re right though. It wouldn’t be so bad to spend a night here. But are you sure you could handle sharing a bed with this hottie?” Peter said jokingly, and flexed his arms, even though you couldn’t really see his muscles through the suit he was still wearing.  
“Don’t flatter yourself. I've spent the night in bed with supermodels.”

It was true, but they could never be Peter. It's not like any of those random people had any personality. Well, maybe they did, but Johnny didn't exactly care that much about what kind of personality the other person had if they were already getting undressed. Even if they did, they never had the kind of emotional connection as he did with Pete.

“Whatever, man. I'm too tired to argue with someone who can't even pass a mirror without stopping to check how you look.”  
“Hey! That's not true. But even if it was, at least I could make sure I don't have eye bags as big as you do right now.”

Peter took a pillow off of Johnny’s bed and threw it at him.

“Don't do that! You said it yourself, these suits are super expensive. Do you really want to have a pillow fight in them? Or can we at least change into night clothes first?”  
“Trying to get my clothes off already are you, Matchstick?”  
“Oh my god. Can we just go to sleep already? Because you desperately need some.”  
“ _Fine._ I’ll stop teasing you. But only because I really am tired.”

 

 

They both got dressed into some pajamas. When Pete came out of the bathroom, Johnny decided he liked seeing him in his clothes like this.

But then Johnny realized something.

“Wait a second. Are you still wearing your binder?”

A few seconds passed where Peter was just avoiding his eyes and scratching the back of his neck while Johnny stared him down.

“I mean, it's not that bad if i just do it for one night.”  
“Uh-uh. Not happening. I’ll give you some more shirts and you can layer, or you can go ask Sue for a sports bra. But you are not wearing a binder to sleep.”

Pete knew there was no way he was going to talk Johnny into changing his mind.

So he walked down to Sue’s room.

After asking, and explaining why, she told him where her bras were. As he was leaving, she stopped him.

“Hey. I love you Webbsy. But I also love my little brother. And i see the way you both look at each other. So don't break his heart.”  
“What do you-”

She closed the door before he finished his sentence.

As he walked back to Johnny’s room, he thought about what she said. Saw the way they both looked at each other? Don't break his heart?

Was she implying that-

No. Surely not.

Johnny didn't like him like that. So if that's what she meant, she was wrong. Even if he did like him like that, he would probably be over it in a few months and break up with him. Peter knew Johnny’s track record. He was never with one person for very long. He didn't just want to be a fling for a few weeks. But he wasn't even lucky enough to have that.

 

 

After he got back to Johnny’s room, and they got into the bed, they both tried not to make it obvious that they had separated themselves to opposite side of the bed but desperately wanted to hold onto the other.

They both laid in agonizing silence until they fell asleep.


	9. A Day™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up warm.
> 
> Which honestly, isn't that unusual, as it is the summer, but something didn’t feel quite right. But hey, whatever. He could deal with whatever it was later. So he just cuddled back up into the body next to him.
> 
> Wait -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT MY FIRST FUCKING BINDER TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY
> 
> But anyway, i know this is kinda short, but im about to upload another chapter right after this. So.
> 
> Also, can you guys tell me if this chapter is a mess or not? Idk how i feel about it.

Peter wakes up warm.

 

Which honestly, isn't that unusual, as it is the summer, but something didn’t feel quite right. But hey, whatever. He could deal with whatever it was later. So he just cuddled back up into the body next to him.

 

 _Wait_ -

 

Peter’s eyes were blinded at first, since the room was so bright, and the only reasons why he wasn't panicking was because he knew he wasn't tied up, his spidey-sense wasn't going off, and memories of the night before were starting to come back to him.

 

So he started to lay back down and calm himself, when he caught a look at Johnny. Who he had apparently been cuddling all night.

 

But when Peter looked at him, he looked so bright he could be the sun itself. And, yes, he knew he literally had fire powers, but damn, he really did look so beautiful, he could probably be a star. Even though it would probably suck for johnny, considering he would have to go full nova for hours at a time. But with the way the light was coming through the window, it made him seem even more ethereal and perfect.

 

Just as he started to think to himself that he could look at Johnny’s peaceful face all day, he saw his lashes start to flutter open.

 

With the sudden realization that he was waking up, Peter didn’t know what to do. So he just… kept looking.

 

Johnny opened his eyes.

 

Even after just waking up, seeing Peter there, staring at him he just couldn’t resist.

 

“See something you like, gorgeous?” He said with a smirk.

 

Peter’s dumbfounded face morphed into a very unamused one.

 

“We just woke up asshole.”

“No, I just woke up. You were already awake, and you were staring at me while I was sleeping.”

“Yeah, for like, five seconds.”

“Whatever dude. Your breath stinks.”

“And you think yours doesn’t?”

“Hm. You got a point there.”

 

Johnny sat up and stretched. Peter wondered to himself what it would be like waking up to this every morning. He should really stop these types of thoughts about Johnny. Why would someone like him ever love someone like Peter back?

 

Little did he know, Johnny was wondering the same thing.

 

“Don’t you have to get home before your Aunt notices you’re gone?”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, I do.”

 

Johnny watched him distractedly walk into the bathroom. Something was off about him this morning, and he was going to find out what.

 

 

 

 

 

As Peter walked into his first period, he was surprised and relieved to see MJ sitting across the classroom with an empty seat next to her.

 

As he went to sit down, he said, “I never noticed you were in this class before.”

 

“Well, I usually sit in the back. But someone took my seat today. So.” She gestured to where she was sitting.

 

They suffered through their awful math class together. Normally math classes weren't this horrible, but this teacher, conveniently, didn't know how to teach.

 

Luckily though, as the teacher put them to their classwork, MJ was able to keep most of his thoughts about Johnny at bay.

 

When they weren't together, they texted a lot. Even if it was just memes, or to tell each other that they had just nearly avoided getting hit with bird poop. But Peter thought MJ was quickly becoming one of his best friends, even if he hadn't known her that long yet.

 

It was nice. Having multiple people he could talk to. Even if it was a very limited ‘multiple’.

 

 

 

 

 

Once the final bell had rung, he was on his way out of school, when he heard Flash yelling something at someone. Nothing new there. But when he turned around, he discovered it wasn't so normal after all.

 

He was yelling at one of his jock friends.

 

That's odd. They usually just did whatever Flash wanted, or agreed with whatever Flash said, and followed him and never said anything. He wondered what could have possibly happened for Flash to get so upset at one of them.

 

He casually walked over to the water fountain so he could eavesdrop without it being obvious.

 

“-on’t care! I've been looking up to the guy for forever at this point! If you want to start something with me over this go right ahead, but he's still my favorite superhero.” Flash shouted. It seemed everyone who was left in the halls had stopped to stare at the apparent fight that was about to start.

 

Peter knew he should probably go, but can you really blame him for being a little nosey?

 

“I should have know you were a fucking faggot too. You probably only pick on other kids for being gay or trannies because you're one yourself.”

“You're one to talk. You do the same shit as me.”

“But standing up for that spider - I don't even know - girl? Thing? Whatever. How could you possibly look up to that, that _creature?_ ”

 

Peter’s stomach dropped.

 

“He really did inspire me to be a better person. So you know what everyone?” he said, acknowledging the crowd around them, “Lets be better people. For Spidey. I'm sorry for anyone i've made feel like shit. But fuck you.” he said, pointing at the other guy, “I'm not dealing with this anymore.”

 

As Flash went to storm away, the guy he had been yelling at grabbed his arm, spun him around, and punched him.

 

The crowd that had been gathering for quite a while at this point, was now chanting things Peter couldn't make out as he heard a teacher yelling and blowing a whistle down the hall. He decided he should bail.


	10. Break Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter likes it when he gets to follow his usual schedule. It keeps the stress levels lower, being able to follow a pattern. Watch TV with Aunt May. Dinner. Homework. Maybe more TV if they’re up for it. “Sleep.” Patrol.
> 
> It's a good pattern. Peter likes it. But for certain things, he's willing to disrupt that pattern.
> 
> Things like Johnny storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really shouldnt be writing this so late at night whoops
> 
> so if i fucked up ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

When Peter was safely locked in his room, laying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, he finally allowed himself to think.

 

Flash Thompson. Standing up for him. Even after he came out. 

 

Flash Thompson. Looking up to him. Even after he came out. 

 

Flash Thompson. Getting in a fight for him. Even after he came out.

 

This was certainly news.

 

Maybe Flash wasn't as bad as he thought.

 

He was still a bully though, regardless of what he had said back there. He had still done horrible things. A simple apology doesn't make up for all of that. But if he stuck with it, and actually tries to be a good person, then that would be pretty nice.

 

If people like Flash can still look at Spider-Man, knowing who he truly is - not his identity - but who he is in his heart; and still be inspired, rather than disgusted, then maybe he isn't as hopeless as he thought he was.

 

Maybe he could come out in his personal life and still be okay.

 

He knows it would still be incredibly scary and dangerous, but at least he knows the entire student body doesn't hate people like him. That there are still a part of the school that doesn't want him dead. 

 

Although, maybe it was still a little early. It still hadn't been that long since Spidey came out. It could still be suspicious. 

 

Not only that, but he's been coming out to everyone so rapidly. In both of his identities. Aunt may as Peter, and the public as Spider-Man, and the Fantastic Four as both. All that was left now was his school. 

 

He deserves a break. Even if he does have to suffer a little by staying in the closet, it's been a lot at once. And he's used to being in the closet anyway. 

 

So he’ll wait a while more.

 

 

 

 

 

Peter likes it when he gets to follow his usual schedule. It keeps the stress levels lower, being able to follow a pattern. Watch TV with Aunt May. Dinner. Homework. Maybe more TV if they’re up for it. “Sleep.” Patrol.

 

It's a good pattern. Peter likes it. But for certain things, he's willing to disrupt that pattern.

 

Things like Johnny storm. 

 

He convinced Peter to say he's going to bed early so he can come out on patrol early. 

 

Which, Peter supposes, isn't such a bad thing. Getting to stop even more bad things from happening in this hectic town? That's pretty good. Getting to do it while he's with Johnny? Well, who’s to deny him of saying that that’s not a plus.

 

So after they’ve been out and around a few hours, they take a break. 

 

Peter is in the middle of inhaling a hotdog when he starts spilling his thoughts about school out to Johnny.

 

He's his normal joking, snarky, sarcastic self, until Peter starts talking about MJ. 

 

He tells him how they met, things they’ve talked about, funny things that have happened.

 

It's when Peter mentions that she’s ‘funny, smart, and talented, so how could I have not noticed her before?’ When Johnny snaps. 

 

“So, what? She's a better friend than me? Are you gonna ditch me for her?”

“What? Dude, what are you so upset about?”

“I thought we were best friends.”

“Johnny, we are best friends. But MJ is my friend now too. Why is that a problem?”

“Because, Peter! You're going to fall in love with her, start dating, and stop hanging out with me. I’ll just go back to only having my big sister to talk to.”

 

Johnny was pacing around the roof they were on.

 

“Johnny. Look at me.” 

 

He did.

 

“I would never just abandon you like that.”

“Well it's not like you would do it on purpose.” Johnny rolled his eyes.

“Johnny. Why are you so upset? Aren’t you glad I have another friend for once?”

“Well yeah. It's just-”

 

Johnny cut himself off.

 

“Just what?”

 

They both realized at the same time how close they'd gotten. How soft their voices had become.

 

Peter felt a shiver down his spine when he noticed the way Johnny was looking at him. Inches apart. How easy it would be to close the distance.

 

His eyes flickered to Johnny’s lips.

 

Johnny apparently noticed this. 

 

Johnny was the one to step forward, but he didn't close the gap, only answering an unasked question. Peter leaned the rest of the way forward.

 

It was everything and nothing at once.

 

Peter knew, logically - what was he, Spock? - that it was just a simple press of lips against his. But that's not what it felt like. It felt like had actually had luck. Not the Parker Luck, not the sarcastic kind of luck, but real, simple, true luck. He was kissing Johnny storm.

 

It didn't last very long, and it didn't evolve into a full make out, but it was nice. It was sweet. 

 

When peter opened his eyes, he saw Johnny stripped of his walls. He was reminded of when he looked at how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping.

 

But this wasn't peaceful Johnny. This was radiant, happy, affectionate Johnny. 

 

Peter feels like the luckiest man in the world when he gets to see this Johnny.

 

Then, they both came back to their senses. 

 

They had been yelling only a few moments ago.

 

Panic set in on Johnny’s face.

 

He looked like he was about to flame on, but Peter grabbed his wrist before he could do anything.

 

“Please don't leave.”

 

Even to his own ears, Peter sounded pathetic.

 

“Why?” Johnny asked, in about the saddest voice Peter had ever heard.

 

“Why do you want to leave?”

“Because I kissed you.”

“It was more like I kissed you, flamebrain.” Peter half smiled.

“You didn't mean it.” Peter frowned.

“Why wouldn't I mean it?”

“Because you don't love me.”

“How would you know?”

 

Johnny paused.

 

“So you aren't going to leave? Or hate me? For what I just did?”

“No.” Johnny smiled.

“In that case, you wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Yes, you absolute idiot.”

 

Later, Johnny apologised for getting jealous over MJ. Peter just laughed that he would get jealous over her.

 

They finished up their break, and went back to crime-stopping for a while more to tire themselves out. 

 

As they decided to head home, Peter thought to himself that goodbye kisses were pretty nice.


	11. Things Are Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This morning, Peter had a lot on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, I know its been a month, but wow. I am so stressed out. And i know its not very long. But please. Be merciful.
> 
> Also, guess who got a haircut!!!! :D

This morning, Peter had a lot on his mind.

 

How he should come out. When he should come out. If he should come out. Flash standing up for him after coming out as his secret identity. The particularly bad wave of dysphoria that seemed to be consuming him at the moment.

 

Sometimes, it seemed like being trans was all that he was, even though he knows that isn't true.

 

He's a person. He has a life outside of that. He's a kid. He goes to school. He goes to his classes (mostly), he does his homework, and he has the typical teenage angst, and no matter how small that number is, he has friends. Plus, one of those friends has recently become his boyfriend.

 

He's also the actual, literal, Spider-Man. He helps people and tries to fight crime as a _hobby_.

 

So while his life is absolutely not one hundred percent being trans, on a small scale, it can sure as hell feel like it sometimes.

 

So as he has this battle in his head, he tries to push it away by doing something else. Like getting ready for school.

 

But getting ready for school also comes with the thoughts as to when he was going to come out.

 

But then again, most problems can be solved with some coffee and a big sweater.

 

As he grabs the sweater and starts down the stairs, he thinks to himself.

 

Sweaters are great. Everyone wears sweaters. They are genderless. They’re comfortable, and mostly covers up what's underneath them, whether it be curves, or the lack thereof.

 

Aka, sweaters are a great comfort when dysphoria comes to get you.

 

After he makes himself some coffee, he heads back up the stairs to finish getting dressed.

 

 

 

 

 

As he walks through the school doors, he sees none other than Flash Thompson. He immediately tenses up when he sees him heading his way.

 

But then, he doesn't yell anything at him, he doesn't shove him up against a locker, and he doesn't use his words as personalized weapons. He just sort of, stands there awkwardly.

 

Peter looks up at him. Waiting for something to happen. But nothing does.

 

Instead, Flash just looks sorry and puts his hand out.

 

“Hey Parker, i know i've been a giant dick ever since i've known you, but i want to. Uh. Y’know. Apologise.”

 

Peter kind of just stared at him for a moment.

 

“Um. Alright.”

 

Then he shook his hand. After that, Flash just walked away.

 

Peter thinks that can count as one of the weirdest encounters he's ever had with someone.

 

But hey, weird doesn't mean bad. And he's definitely having a good streak so far, despite the dysphoria.

 

 

 

 

 

While he's talking to MJ later at lunch, he spits out his drink.

 

“Youve been smiling a lot all day. Most of the day. You don't usually do that. It's usually just sprinkled in there. Whats got you so upbeat?”

“What? I'm not allowed to just smile every once in awhile?”

 

MJ deadpanned. “You know what i mean Parker. Answer my question.”

“Alright, alright! Gees, so serious all of a sudden.”

 

MJ gave him another look.

 

“Okay. So. It turns out my unrequited crush turned out not to be so unrequited.”

“Oh my god! Paula! That's amazing! What's their name!”

“His name is Johnny. Ugh. I've spent so long convincing myself he could never like me back. I can't believe this happened. We were fighting, and then we weren't, and then we were kissing.”

“Wow, that's like, straight out of a rom-com.”

 

Peter was about to say something along the lines of ‘more like gay out of a rom-com’ until he realized. He bit down on his tongue to stop before it came tumbling out of his mouth.

 

Luckily, she didn't notice.

 

“Wait, Johnny, as in that creep from gym class?”

“Oh my god. No. He doesn't go here.”

“Then where does he go? Can I meet him? I need to make sure he knows what's coming to him if he hurts you.”

 

She made a dramatic motion of punching her hand.

 

He thought about the hilarity of her finding out he was talking about Johnny Storm.

 

“I don't know if you can meet him. He usually has a really busy schedule.” Not technically a lie. He does normally have things to do, but that doesn't mean he always does them.

 

“Alright. Well, if he ever can, make sure to mention it.”

 

And just like that, they went back to normal conversation.


	12. Media Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can't believe you’ve never seen Harry Potter before.”
> 
>  
> 
> A few weeks later, after school, Peter is sitting with Johnny on the couch in the Baxter Building fast-forwarding through the credits before the movie.
> 
>  
> 
> “I can't believe my boyfriend is such a dork that he's seen all the movies and read all the books.”
> 
> “I'm offended. You have no right to judge me until you've at least seen the first movie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright,,,,, look,,,,,,,,,,, i know its been over a month,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i have no excuses,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
> sorry lol  
> but hey!! the story is almost over!! so you have the finale to look forward to!!!!

“I can't believe you’ve never seen Harry Potter before.”

 

A few weeks later, after school, Peter is sitting with Johnny on the couch in the Baxter Building fast-forwarding through the credits before the movie.

 

“I can't believe my boyfriend is such a dork that he's seen all the movies and read all the books.”

“I'm offended. You have no right to judge me until you've at least seen the first movie.”

 

Johnny is about to say something but Peter stops him. “And don't you dare comment on the graphics or the design choices, because this was the first one, and therefore definitely not the best one.”

“What are you going to say next? The books are better than the movies?”

“Hey! When people say the books are better than the movies, they aren't always wrong. And in this case, it is true. Ginny, Ron’s little sister, barely even has any lines in the movies! She was great in the books!”

 

Johnny looks at him with equal parts affection, and equal parts like he has no idea what he's talking about.

 

“Ugh. Whatever. You can not believe me all you want, but trust me, you'll be taking it back by the time we finish all the movies.”

“Oh my god Peter.” Johnny gives him another look.

“What?”

“You're such a nerd. I love you so much.” He kisses him on the cheek.

“Oh my god, I love you too, but i'm serious,” he stops to laugh at his own inside joke, which only further confuses Johnny, “you aren't allowed to say anything until you've actually seen them.”

  
  
  
  
  


The next day, as he's walking to class, Peter was thinking of the night before, after he and Johnny spent hours watching the first three Harry Potter movies. Peter was satisfied hearing Johnny say ‘okay, I guess they aren't that bad’ and also with the information that he is willing to watch some more when they can. Peter would have made Johnny watch more, but he had only brought the first three movies with him, and he had to go home anyway. 

 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Flash struggling to make friendly conversation with some kids who he used to make fun of. 

 

It had been a few weeks since Flash’s outburst about him still admiring Spider-Man, and his attempt to apologise to some of the people he used to bully. 

 

Everyone was at least a little weirded out by all of this sudden change, but most of those people didn't think it was a change for the worst.

 

In fact, with all of this change happening around the school because of this and other things that have been happening recently, Peter was working up the courage to come out. But at this point, all he had been thinking about was when he was going to do it, instead of how. 

 

He spent most of the school day up in the clouds fantasizing about the most dramatic ways you could come out as trans, and the ways certain people at his school would react. 

 

But as he was heading home, he was almost knocked off his feet when he saw a newspaper stand covered in newspapers with cover images all staring him. 

 

But not just him - It was all pictures of him and Johnny. Kissing. On top of the statue of liberty. 

 

Who knew anyone would have spotted them up there. 

 

Thankfully, Peter had only had his mask rolled up to his nose, so not enough to reveal his identity, but it was still a clear shot of him kissing none other than the Human Torch. 

 

He walked up closer to the stand so he could read some of the headlines.

 

“Is Spider-Man Really Just A Tomboy?”

“Was Spider-Man Lying About His Trans Identity?”

“Does the Human Torch have a Transgender Fetish?”

“Spider-Man and Human Torch New Most Iconic Gay Couple?”

 

Well. At least the last one didn't want to make him puke. 

 

He started walking as fast as he could towards his house, and pulled out his phone to call Johnny.

 

“Hey! Peter! I just finished this insane level of Crash Bandicoot -”

“Johnny.”

“Hey, are you alright? What's wrong?”

“Great. So you didn't hear the news.”

“What? What news?”

“Johnny. Go turn on a TV and look at the news station.”

 

Peter listened as he heard Johnny get up and walk somewhere. The sun was bright on his face, and he felt like the whole world was watching him. He would have just swung to either his house or Johnny’s, but right now, he didn't really think being seen as Spider-man would be that great right now.

 

“Oh. Oh boy.” Johnny’s voice cut back though the phone.

“Yeah.”

“What are we gonna do”

“Why would you ask me that? You’re the one who is always in the spotlight.”

“Well, you’re the one who gets hate thrown at him every five seconds.”

“Wow. Thanks.” 

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah. But i still think you are the one better prepared for this situation.”

“Uh, well, maybe we could make like, a public statement or something?”

“Like what?”

“I don't know! Ugh. Where are you right now?”

“I'm walking towards my house. But i don't think you should come over right now. People will be looking for you. For both of us. That's why i'm not swinging home right now.”

“I know, but I still want to see you.”

“Aw, what a sap.”

“Shut it Parker. And we still need to do something about the media.”

“Well, I don't know. Go consult your sister. Or Reed. Or Ben.”

“Oh god, Ben is going to have a riot when he sees this.”

“Then go tell Sue or Reed, because i'm home now, and I have a shit ton homework.”

“Alright, good luck with that. I’ll call you when I figure something out.”

“Okay. See you later.”

  
  
  
  
  


It was hard to concentrate on homework when there are so many other things on your mind. Shouldn't teachers know better than to give teenagers this much homework? Don't they know that their students are bound to not do it?

 

Later, when somehow, he finished his chemistry packet, Johnny called, and said Sue and Reed had a press conference set up already, and that he and Peter could just pop in at the end and say some stuff if they wanted.

 

From that point on, the night just seemed like blur. 

 

The anxiety of talking to a crowd with a bunch of cameras pointed at him, the screaming, the crowd looking like a mob as soon as he set foot on the stage in front of all of them.

 

The flashes nearly blinded him, even through the mask.

 

But Johnny held his hand under the table.

 

He thinks he might have said something about his gender having nothing to do with his sexuality, but he wasn't sure if he said it aloud or not. He's not sure what he said. He's not even sure what Johnny said. But as soon as he walked back offstage, and Johnny took him back into his room and just held him, he started to come back to reality. 

 

He might not have been able to speak just then, but he thinks he and Johnny’s embrace said all it needed to. 

 

Honestly, Peter is just glad he didn't have a panic attack.

  
  
  
  
  


The next day, when he walked into the living room, he looked at the TV and saw himself and Johnny. He saw the rest of the FF standing up for them. He ate some toaster waffles Aunt May had made him. And he felt like things were going to be okay.


	13. Heading out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter looked over Johnny and saw that he was on the last few pages of his book. He leaned over so he could read the ending with him, despite him having already read it and seen the movie nearly four times. 
> 
> The book that Johnny was reading, was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. After all this time, Johnny had finally finished the movies and was just now finishing up the books. 
> 
> It had been just over a year since Peter had convinced Johnny to watch the first movie. 
> 
> They were now both sitting on Peter’s bed with moving boxes all around them. They were going to move in together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy. jesus. christ. it has literally been almost two years since i started this mess. it has been a long journey. im sorry its been so long since the last update, but i guess a lot of the updates had quite a bit of time between them. i guess this story is over. but hey, we all know that i'll still be here. maybe not writing 100% of the time, but i'll always be reading on this site. i hope you like the ending despite it being written at 3 am, and kind of short. anyway, happy new year everyone!

Peter looked over Johnny and saw that he was on the last few pages of his book. He leaned over so he could read the ending with him, despite him having already read it and seen the movie nearly four times. 

The book that Johnny was reading, was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. After all this time, Johnny had finally finished the movies and was just now finishing up the books. 

It had been just over a year since Peter had convinced Johnny to watch the first movie. 

They were now both sitting on Peter’s bed with moving boxes all around them. They were going to move in together.

They had just graduated, and were preparing for college.

While Johnny finishes up the iconic book, Peter looks around the room and thinks about where he and Johnny started. Not only as friends, but from a relationship standpoint. 

Back then, he had quite literally just come out to the Fantastic Four, and Aunt May. Not too long after that, Spider-Man came out as trans to the public. 

Then he had waited, for quite a while to come out to publicly as Peter Parker. It… really sucked.

The only reason he actually ended up coming out when he did, was because he was going to start taking testosterone the next week. He couldn't exactly have his voice drop and start growing a beard if he wasn't out yet.

So. He's been on T for about a year now. God he’s glad he can say that. It really did work wonders for his dysphoria. Sure, he hasn’t had any surgeries yet, and on top of that, he's not sure he even wants to. At least not right now. But going on testosterone doesn’t magically make all of your problems go away. And just because it eases his dysphoria some, it doesn't mean it’s gone. 

On top of all of this, he finally ended up introducing MJ and Johnny. They hit it off right away. He never thought he’d see people bond over fashion trends so quickly. Or, at all, really. But he’s very glad two of his favorite people became such fast friends. He's sure that if they danced too close together at a club, or anywhere pretty much, that the force of it would cause everyone in the vicinity to drop on the spot. 

He also ended up getting two jobs; one at the Daily Bugle, which is pretty funny considering how much that exact company loved to hate his secret identity and the other at Chili’s. He thinks he dies a little bit inside every time he has to say “Hi! Welcome to Chili’s!” Especially when the customers are clearly trying not to laugh after he says it. 

He definitely needs the money right now, from student loans, rent, testosterone, and Peter needing to change his name and gender marker legally. 

He could just take up Johnny’s offer to pay it all for him, but that's way too much. Even though Johnny has seemingly endless amounts of money, he can’t just let him go and take responsibility over all of his expenses. 

But he really does need to change at least his legal name as soon as possible so that anyone who wants to be an asshole at his new school or anyone else in his future that wants to be an asshole won't have that opportunity. 

He snaps back to reality instead of thinking of his life when he sees Johnny set down his book. 

“Wow.”  
“Wow?”  
“Just wow.”  
“That's it? No opinions? Do you at least agree that Ginny deserved more in the movies?”  
“Are you kidding? That's not even a question Peter. I just think the author should have let it end instead of giving it an epilogue.”  
“Exactly! Why would you give them all middle-aged mediocre lives where everything is perfect as if there are no more bad guys left in the entire story? Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean Voldemort wouldn’t still have followers and people that agreed with what he said. There are always going to be bad people that need to be stopped. It’s not-”

“The moving truck is here you two.” Aunt May interrupts Peter.

They get off the bed and start packing things into the moving truck, and not too long after Mary Jane arrives to help. 

As soon as they’re done, they all hug and have a teary goodbye, even though they’re just moving to a different part of New York, and not to a different state altogether. 

As they drive to their new apartment, Johnny speaks up.

“So much has changed since we first met. I mean, we’re moving in together. What do you think will change next?”  
“I don’t know. Let’s just take what life throws at us for now. We have plenty on our plate as it is. We don’t need to worry about what hasn’t happened yet.”  
“You’re right. I guess this and all the college stuff has me thinking.”  
“Yeah, me too. But let’s just keep rolling with the punches until it stops working. We’ll be okay.”

He reaches out for Johnny’s hand, and they keep driving.


End file.
